i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
