My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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