Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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