Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
