Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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