Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
