She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
