these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
