her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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