Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
