I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
