how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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