cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
