sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
