Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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