i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
not ubering you a puppy
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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