Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
