omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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