It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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