I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize