I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
