Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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