You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
