That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
