I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
