It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
