Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
