he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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