Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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