Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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