Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
