just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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