It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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