He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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