He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
