You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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