remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
