Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
