Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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