Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
