I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
