wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she peed on how many people?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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