so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
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Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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