if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
