I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
