HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize