On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
