I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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