people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize