and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
