I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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