In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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