Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
