I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize