He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
