I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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