Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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