At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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