If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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