It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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