I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
