I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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