Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
